So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
