I was born with a shot glass in my hand
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
