So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
