I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
