Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
