New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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