were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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