Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
if only i could text you this smell
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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