I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
