She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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