Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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