you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
