fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
