everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
