Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
