hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We got so high we made milksteak
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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