He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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