It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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