last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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