Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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