Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
