hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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