His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
