she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
