Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
