I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
