glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You were trust falling into bushes
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
