Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
