cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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