Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Can I color on your dick again?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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