Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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