I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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