Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
