We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
