i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
