so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
