No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Randomize
