I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
