Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
