Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
