So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
