I'm really into asian looking animals
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize