i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
