dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
