WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize