she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
even my farts smell like vagina
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize