dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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