So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
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