I'm really into asian looking animals
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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