dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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