Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
