you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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