I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
