omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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