Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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