is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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