So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
