you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
