I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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