she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
