Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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