i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
