What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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