super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Randomize