Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
